“Love rests on two pillars: surrender and autonomy. Our Very Own need for togetherness is present alongside all of our importance of separateness.”
Healthy interactions require a sensitive balances of intimacy and autonomy, giving and obtaining, personal also.
As we find it hard to walking this delicate tightrope, we possibly may believe less like elegant acrobats and more like pendulums swaying recklessly back and forth. When I think about my own personal romantic quest, I discover a trend: I got extremely close to previous couples, losing myself inside them completely, and emerged from the codependent haze scared and self-abandoned.
“Never once again!” I would pledge. “I’d quite getting by yourself than get rid of myself in a relationship!” So I’d spend months welcoming complete flexibility —dating occasionally, not receiving affixed, cardiovascular system under lock and key—until my personal loneliness sent myself into the hands of another spouse.
So when lies the total amount? The answer can be found in the notion of interdependence: interactions that depend on mutual closeness and common separateness. Continue reading “How exactly to Tell If their partnership is Codependent (and What to Do About It)”