Ruby said that the hookup culture can cause girls to see their outside appearance as more important than their inner qualities. “I think if the guy doesn’t want more, girls will realize that the guy doesn’t have an emotional connection to them, and that all he cared about was their looks,” she said. “That doesn’t feel great at all.”
Speaking from personal experience and having observed friends, Ruby explained that girls can, as a result, just see themselves as physical beings, caring only about outward appearances rather than inside characteristics or personalities.
Fear of Losing Respect
[dropcap]Walking down the hallways on Monday mornings, it is not uncommon to hear the whispered stories of the past weekend’s events. “She hooked up with whom?!” and “Literally everyone was making out.”[/dropcap]
In fact, only 14 percent of Upper School students believe that hooking up is the most discover tids info here common type of relationship at Hockaday, even though nearly one-third of girls are in or have had a no strings attached relationship. The discrepancy? An element of shame and guilt still exists in a culture that at first glance seems accepting.
“We have this new sense of freedom and liberation and feel like we can hook up with whoever we want, but have we come far enough that it’s something to be open about?” Upper School Guidance Counselor Margaret Morse said. “I don’t think we are truly there.”
In the same survey, 52 percent of girls listed feelings of guilt and embarrassment as a negative consequence of the culture, and 70 percent listed losing respect from peers. When girls are still judging each other for this behavior, it is hard for them not to feel guilty or embarrassed, explained Calhoun. There is not enough shame, however, to keep girls from taking part in these relationships but enough shame that they do not talk about it.
Stephanie explained that there is a stigma at Hockaday about hooking up, one that she has felt the wrath of. Continue reading “Calhoun suggests that it comes from the fact that hookups are still not accepted as the norm”