Dear Gay Men, Will You Be Dependent On Grindr?

Dear Gay Men, Will You Be Dependent On Grindr?

‘Are you a Grindrophile?’

The answer is probably yes if you’ve already been asked this question and are reading this column, purging through dating hacks and lists. Which brings us to concern number two — if Grindr had been a child, could you date him?

Don’t bother looking at their profile, there’s only 1 strategy for finding out. Every point you rack up on this special-edition that is super Bucket List Game brings you one step nearer to having an epiphany — the exact same the one that begs you to definitely end it forever, and delete the sweetness that Grindr is.

Just add a point up for each and every question you answer having a ‘Yes’ and tally your final score with your results below. Do you want?

1. Checked your Grindr when you reach a brand new location. 2. Checked Grindr on a pee-break. 3. Or a lunch time break at the job. 4. Cursed the network that is bad your neighbors whenever Grindr doesn’t load. 5. Gotten upset over maybe not having any messages whenever you sign in. 6. Gotten excited you do. 7. Had a blank profile since you do have more than 20 when. 8. Laughed at somebody by having a blank profile. 9. Messaged somebody by having a blank profile simply because you will be horny. 10. Lied about your height. 11. Lied regarding your fat. 12. Lied about both. 13. Devoted hours picking out the perfect profile reasoning it’d help you see your soul mates. 14. Have actually nevertheless been expected for intercourse immediately after. 15. Stated you had been ‘Only searching for buddies’ although not really intended it. Hello, hot hookup! 16. Mentioned you had been ‘straight-acting.’ 17. Ditched a date midway since they’re unsightly. 18. Been ditched. 19. Expected if someone’s into ‘High Fun?’ 20. Been asked if you should be into ‘High Fun?’ 21. stated you’re ‘Sane and that is sorted your profile. 22. Blocked someone for saying these are typically ‘Sane and sorted’ on their Grindr profile. 23. Been approached for a threesome. 24. Approached someone for the threesome. 25. Been approached for the ‘Orgy’ or ‘Group Fun’. 26. Approached someone for an ‘Orgy’ or ‘Group fun’. 27. Been approached for the massage. 28. Been approached by an escort. 29. Felt bad about maybe perhaps not being approached by either. 30. Simply came across someone for intercourse. 31. Dated somebody off Grindr. 32. Made buddy through Grindr. 33. Possessed a torso photo up. 34. Objectified a torso photo. 35. Had a catchphrase for Grindr. 36. Used the catchphrase regarding the person that is same (rather than also apologizsd.) 37. Told somebody you had been ‘home alone’. 38. Asked some body when they had been. 39. Stated you had been searching for ‘Right Now’. 40. Stated you had been in search of ‘Nothing.’ 41. Just stated you’re ‘Looking.’ 42. Been asked whether ‘you got plc?’ 43. Been asked whether ‘you got pics?” 44. Answered to either. 45. Answered to neither. 46. Maybe perhaps Not seemed such a thing like your Grindr picture. 47. Scoffed at someone for maybe perhaps not anything that is looking his Grindr image. 48. Understand most of the men in your neighbourhood by heart. 49. Blocked 10 males every time consistently. 50. Cursed whenever you can’t block the 11 th person for a single day. 51. Wished you’d Grindr Xtra so you might block more. 52. Downloaded Grindr Xtra to do this. 53. Hooked up with a Grindr date during work hours. 54. Hooked up with a Grindr date before work hours. 55. Hooked up with a Grindr date at the office. 56. Maybe maybe Not responded to someone’s polite message on Grindr. 57. Been aggravated an individual doesn’t reply to yours. 58. Been catfished. 59. Catfished someone. 60. Been asked whether you are ‘Top or Bottom’ after saying hello. 61. Expected somebody the exact same question after saying hello. 62. Dreamt of marrying somebody you’ve met down Grindr. 63. Cried within the bath when that didn’t work away. 64. Discovered somebody brand brand new on Grindr ab muscles day that is next. 65. Had a vacation hookup in a international location through Grindr. 66. Searched for a cafe with free Wi-Fi in said location that is foreign always check your Grindr messages. 67. Sent a cock pic. 68. Expected for a cock pic. 69. Had a picture that is shirtless. 70. Expected for a shirtless image. 71. Obstructed somebody after either of this above. 72. Have a collection of images to deliver. 73. Lied about maybe maybe not having any images to deliver. 74. Looked for Birthday Intercourse. 75. Seemed for Break-up Intercourse. 76. checked for ‘Why perhaps not?’ Intercourse. 77. Had a discussion that went nowhere. 78. Had a conversation that went directly to bed. 79. Went directly to bed but had a discussion alternatively. 80. Used Grindr while at a gathering afroromance reviews. 81. Used Grindr while for a night-out with buddies. 82. Gotten away from a particular date early for the grindr hook-up. 83. Had an exasperating discussion on Grindr. 84. Screenshot stated conversation and tweeted/Instagrammed it. 85. Stalked an ex by way of a blank profile. 86. Pranked buddy through a blank profile. 87. Obstructed some body midway through a discussion. 88. Been blocked by somebody midway through a discussion. 89. Sexted somebody on Grindr. 90. Obstructed them after completing your organization. 91. Lied about being solitary on Grindr. 92. Lied to the man you’re dating about being on Grindr. 93. Have actually the man you’re seeing lie about being on Grindr. 94. Seemed for some body on Grindr together with your boyfriend. 95. Saved multiple associates under the Grindr pseudonym. 96. Gotten confused and conserved a couple underneath the name that is same. 97. Deleted the contacts in a brief moment of disgust. 98. Deleted Grindr in minute of disgust. 99. Facebooked about making Grindr. 100. Got back in minute of exasperation a couple of months later on.

Excited to understand what your scores that are final? Keep reading to locate whether you’re a Missionary, or love every thing missionary:

Your rating: 1- 25 Grindr guidelines

Exactly What it states in regards to you: Wow! You appear to be doing fine. In reality, in the event that you weren’t looking over this post, i might have thought you had been a born-again virgin. But beware, kid, Grindr could be the deep, dark end regarding the internet that sucks you in before you know it. Rather than into the real means, you want it.

Your score: 26-50 Grindr Points

Exactly just What it claims about yourself: while you’re accustomed the casual luncheon break tryst off everyone’s favourite sexting app, you appear to have every thing in order. But we nevertheless see you utilising the eggplant emoji, mister. I’ve got my eyes for you.

Your score: 51-75 Grindr Points

What it states about you: You’ve not reached the fag end regarding the pool, but you’re getting here. You might check Grindr every few hours, keep in mind that you will be one sex tape and two threesomes far from being the app’s resident Lindsay Lohan.

Your score: 76-100 Grindr Points

Just just What it claims as you can, sir, and put your hands up in the air about you: Step away from your phone as slowly. You’re being taken set for Grindr addiction. Now do you need a pat down or a full human anatomy cavity search?