Growing upwards, I started http://www.datingmentor.org/how-much-does-eharmony-cost to concentrate on the differences between Italy and you will Kosovo in terms of understanding lifetime, specifically relating to this procedure. There can be a phrase having been used by Albanian anybody and i also either nonetheless tune in to. Whenever a kid becomes hitched, the parents and you can family unit members state, “We hitched your.” That doesn’t make any sense conceptually, you to definitely chooses to get married and you will can it. It’s not the rest who pick you.
I needed to know like that out-of defining one thing, so i decided to discover Lek Dukagjini’s “Kanun.” In this text, I guess I found an answer. In one of the stuff, they states that everyone works closely with marriage with the exception of the couple. This is why it makes sense to say that “i hitched him.” As the at the time, the ilies concerned. The couple didn’t look after things, they generally failed to even like otherwise particularly each other.
Times has actually altered and you do not discover circumstances such as those any further – about, I hope not. But a germ of these mindset have stayed. The stress exerted of the household members and you can members of the family criteria you and leads that build such as a choice.
What have stayed widespread ‘s the idea of “giving” otherwise “taking” a female. Even now, females still pay attention to using their family it is good for them to learn to would specific factors home, because when they log off for their husbands they will not have to research bad. Such things as cleansing the household, cooking, helping caj (tea) etc.
The theory that girl is the object of your own man remains. A thing that a dad chooses to provide or otherwise not. That’s what leads of a lot to track down hitched immediately following a preliminary lifetime of once you understand one another, whilst have a tendency to happens you to definitely a good girl’s father looks and you can informs the latest son to decide what you should do – get married or stop – because his child is not a model.
The feminine intercourse is still named an item
Broadening upwards, I also pointed out that most of the stereotypes which Europeans were revealed along with applied to united states. Anyone been divorcing, thank goodness. I point out that since the We think of the longevity of a lady, provided in marriage and maybe even partnered by the her very own will, locked up in your house by the stereotypical Albanian child, which prevents you against fun and you can undertaking typical public things. I believe this girl finding the bravery – by way of an even more open people – to go away one home and go back to freedom.
The concept of divorce almost didn’t can be found for all of us, because women did not challenge to exit the person it hitched. But I found that our some one likewise have couples, our someone including wed private get. Simply speaking, that individuals are not better than other people. We are really not finest together with “others” commonly the fresh new demon.
I am aware that in case We wed an Albanian woman, everything you could well be wonderful.
Along with being fortunate enough to enhance upwards in a developed nation particularly Italy, having been in a position to analysis and not having must real time from war, I’ve the massive fortune of getting a few parents who possess never ever made me feel this kind of stress. But I feel it anyway, because that proper care grew up in my personal direct extended in the past.
Basically get married in order to a non-Albanian lady, just how will my personal parents get noticed? How will i qualify? Who will come to the house since the an invitees if my personal spouse doesn’t chat Albanian? Usually she ever before go to Kosovo? Exactly how can we name our children? Often our youngsters talk Albanian?